The Purest White
by Fire and Sand
Summary: Rukia's first thoughts as she prepares for death were actually calmer than her last thoughts. The torture of hope tears through her at the news of someone who meant well. Rukia's thoughts up to her imprisonment in Senzaikyuu.


Fire: This is a 666 special, one of 6 oneshots!

Sasuke: …

Uryuu: Some of them aren't reading it on the day you uploaded it.

Renji: The 6th day of the 6th month in the year 2006 at 6:06pm? Isn't it unlucky? No one's probably reading this.

Fire: But it only happens once every thousand years! I have to write something! I even uploaded this at 6pm!

Uryuu: (backing out of the window) Y-you're crazy!

Fire:

Sasuke: Anyway, read it and review. Tell us what you think considering how Fire wrote this in ten minutes, and we proofread it all in less than half an hour. I timed it.

Fire: Um…in case you all didn't know, this is my cowriter.

Sasuke: Uchiha Sasuke des. I'm from the Naruto series.

Fire: If you have any complaints, send them to him.

Sasuke: Hey! I only help. You're the one writing it!

Fire: Now on with the story!

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Disclaimer: If I was Kubo-sensei, I'd cry. Have you seen his picture? He looks just like a real life bishie! . ;; . ;; – –;; I hope he's not reading this.

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Warning: All Japanese terms are used for artistic purposes. If you can't understand the Japanese used in this or any fanfic on this site, I have an extensive glossary on my user profile. Just click on my pen name to get there. If the term you're confused about isn't on the glossary, send me a PM or an email and I'll send you the translations, meanings and background information if it applies. Don't worry about annoying me with them. I don't get annoyed.

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Warning: This was inspired by chapter 59 of the Bleach manga and episode 54 of the Bleach anime, but it incorporates spoilers from throughout the SS arc. If you haven't read past the SS arc, ie. chapter 181/episode 65, there will be minor spoilers. The main body of spoilers will come up to chapter 94. Don't say I didn't warn you.

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Warning: Bleach has extra vocabulary not included in the glossary. If I use any terms not in the glossary on the user profile page, and you're confused, please send me your email and I'll send you my personal Bleach encyclopaedia with all the up to date Bleach terms.

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**The Purest White**

**A Fire Project**

**Oneshot**

**T**he words were painful, but she had to say them. She had held her breath until Niisama's hand left the hilt of his zanpaku-to. But she already knew that he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't kill Ichigo right in front of her. No matter how cold-hearted he was, he wouldn't destroy her like that. And for a moment, she allowed hope to fill her one last time before accepting her fate. She was returning to Soul Society...to die.

Rikichi had brought food into the cell, and the janitor from yonbantai had already taken it away. Hanatarou was surprised to find everything untouched, and Rikichi insisted that she eat, but she couldn't. "I'm not hungry." She repeated herself every time until Hanatarou took it away.

The truth was she really was hungry. Her empty stomach shivered with each breath, but she couldn't bring herself to eat. She couldn't eat knowing what she had done to Ichigo. He had died because of her. She had killed him. She had killed a human.

She deserved to starve.

In those two months she had stayed in the human world, she had done things, seen things, felt things, and been things she had never been before. A normal school life with people who nominated themselves as her friends. She never had that the Central Institute of Spiritual Research. Friendship in the purest form. She was going to miss sitting with them at lunch, even though she knew they wouldn't remember her.

Juice. She missed juice. Tea was bland after juice.

Family, the way family should be.

She was dead. She already knew it. Niisama would never ask to save her. He wouldn't save her like Ichigo saved his sisters the night she met him. Niisama wasn't that kind of brother. Niisama wasn't like Ichigo. If Ichigo was still alive, he would...

Rukia stared at the round grate of light blazing into the room and tried not to remember. Ichigo was dead. If he was still alive, he would die again. He couldn't save her. It was best to accept her fate.

Because her fate was unchangeable.

The Kuchiki family existed in a light brighter than Soul Society's brightest daylight. Bleached to the purest white, she was already tainted with her commoner's blood. That she could live forty years as a noble was already a miracle. She had nothing to regret. She had memories lasting two lifetimes. The shinigami of Soul Society. The schoolgirl of Karakura.

The purest white. Such saintliness didn't belong to a girl who had killed the man only wishing to save her. She shouldn't have left him that note. She shouldn't have said goodbye. But she had to warn him. She _wanted_ to warn him.

She had told him not to come.

But regret was something she didn't have time for. She couldn't regret. Because regretting wouldn't bring Ichigo back to life. Because nothing she did or thought could ever make up for what she had done to him, could take back the pain she had unintentionally anchored to his life. She could never undo it. He was already dead. She couldn't do anything for the dead.

When they transferred her to Senzaikyuu, she was ready. She had accepted it. It was official. She was going to die. They were going to execute her. Soukyoku stood outside the tall barred window, waiting. The sekiseki lying around the tower was already draining her reiatsu, weakening her already weary body. The reality of her sentence had never seemed so real, but she wasn't afraid. She was strong. She already knew as soon as Niisama came to get her, as soon as she decided to return to Society, that she was going to die. She knew as soon as she walked into the rokubantai jail cell.

She never expected Renji to tell her that news.

"It's an unconfirmed report but..."

She was going to ignore it.

"The other day, some troublemakers tried to break into Soul Society."

It didn't concern her.

"There were five."

Did he think this would ease her sentence?

"One of them was a shinigami..."

Rukia's heart stopped at those words. The ice barrier she had built so carefully since that moment on the streets of Karakura, when she knew she had to leave, cracked.

"...a sword as long as his height and had orange-coloured hair."

She had so many questions for Renji. She wanted to know so many things, but she could only stare incredulously at the redheaded shinigami.

'_How could you!'_ She wanted to shout at him. Renji. How could he do this to her? How could he drag hope into her heart again when he knew she would die? How could he torture her like this? _'Ichigo!'_ No. She couldn't let Ichigo do this! She couldn't let him kill himself for her! _'Ichigo, why did you come?'_

And the ice fell, pooling around her naked feet. Even though it was too late, she couldn't stop herself. Her wet hands smeared the sides of the melting wall, trying to hold it up.

But Ichigo was already there, standing at the edge of Senzaikyuu, bleaching the sins from her Kuchiki name. Soon, she wouldn't be able to escape its purest white.

**End Oneshot**

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Moral of the Story:

Hope comes from desire. Without the desire for something, there is no reason to hope for its existence. Even the smallest hint of possibility can bring about incredible torture, because knowing that something is possible can be even worse than not knowing about it at all.

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Fire's babbling:

Uryuu: – –;;

Renji: – –;;

Byakuya: – –;;

Ichigo: You're in love with—

Fire: I don't love Kubo-sensei!

Sasuke: Riiiight. We beliiieve you. (rolls eyes)

Fire: But look at his picture! (holds up a picture of Kubo-sensei)

Uryuu: You carry a picture of him with you?

Renji: Very disturbing.

Byakuya: …

Ichigo: You're going to get arrested.

Fire: (stuffs picture back into pocket) No I don't! – –;; Anyway, send me your reviews! I want to know what you think! I'm trying to write a fanfic in the shortest time possible but still maintain its quality.

Sasuke: Unless you're all brainless idiots, then keep your thoughts to yourself.

Fire: O.O;;; Sasuke! Don't talk like that! They have thoughts!

Sasuke: Then they should send them to us and prove that they actually think.

Fire: You have thoughts! I know you do! Prove to Sasuke that you have thoughts!

Uryuu: (pushes up glasses) Sometimes, I wonder why I agreed to be your muse.

Renji: Yeah, since I'm an infinitely better muse!

Byakuya: …

Uryuu: (pulls out the Quincy bow) You think so? (aims at Renji)

Renji: (pulls Zabimaru from its sheath) Yeah. I think so. (glares at Uryuu) Quincy.

Hanatarou: We should run now! Before you get hurt again, Fire-san!

Fire: (nods and runs away) …

Rukia: (shouting angrily) Renji! I'm going to kill you!

Renji: O.O;; Rukia found me! (sheathes Zabimaru and runs after Fire) Save me too!

Rukia: How dare you torture me!

Uryuu: – –;;

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